Wii Mii

When we came back from our honeymoon, there were a few wedding gift surprises waiting for us in our mailbox. Namely, checks. Some big ones.

After collecting them, tallying the amount and writing the proper thank-you notes, I sat Matt down.

"The way I see it, we could do three things with this money," I said. "First, we could use it to pay off some credit cards. Second, we could buy something sensible, like the new set of knives we need."

"Or," he said, gently urging me to get to the point.

"Or we could get a Wii."

Two days and $500 later, we were hooking up our new video game system. I'd not only sprung for the Wii, but also the Wii Fit, the latest exercise craze for the generation that doesn't believe in real exercise.

When you get a Wii, you make a Mii, a fun little avatar that represents you in all the games. You can adjust hair, eye color, face shape, accessorize, you name it. You can also choose your own body type.

Having just looked at my own, curvaceous figure with a sigh, I moved the dial on my Mii down in the Kate Moss direction, directly opposite reality. Happy, I put in the disc for Wii Fit to set that game up.

The first thing that Wii Fit does is import your avatar. I brought Matt's over too, and our little video selves were running and skipping blithely across the screen. They moved effortlessly, like I hoped I'd be able to move after a few weeks of Wii Fit.

The second thing Wii Fit does is a body test. It checks your balance, reflexes and takes your height and weight to determine your BMI.

And when it does that, even the most optimistic Mii planning goes right out the window. There's no fooling Wii Fit.

As the slider on my BMI tab rolled upward, my Mii looked down in despair at her expanding waistline. That's right--she got fatter as the BMI crept to the top of the "overweight" section. Then, adding insult to injury, a little voice piped up through my home's surround-sound speakers.

"That's overweight!" it squeeked.

I was getting ready to chuck the whole system out the window--my avatar's feelings were hurt, I was being shouted at, and I hadn't had the game on for more than 15 minutes! Then something happened that delighted me.

My Mii started running and skipping again! But with her newly chubby form, she couldn't be as graceful and light as she once was.

Truth be told, she waddled and hopped across the screen. Her arms, now plump, couldn't swing weightlessly anymore, so the pumped furiously. You could almost hear her gasping for air.

It was the cutest Fat Mii I've ever seen.

Now, a few weeks later, I don't mind as much when the Wii Fit insults me. "Oof," it says when I step on the board. "That's overweight!" it squeeks when I weigh-in.

I don't mind because I know that when I start up, my Mii will waddle adorably across the screen, begging me to play with her.